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Keeping up with the Kardashians Olympians


Sigh, as much as I hate to admit it- I love Keeping Up with the Kardashians (KUWTK). Delving into the daily drama and frequent scandal that surrounds their lives is a guilty pleasure that allows me to escape the monotony of my daily life- at least for 20 minutes- and I cannot get enough of it! However, with that being said, I do believe that there is one more family out there that could easily give the Kardashians a run for their money, any day. I would watch a reality show based on their lives, over KUWTK, any day! I also have no doubt that it will run for longer than KUWTK - that’s how much goes on in their lives on a daily basis. Trust me when I tell you that keeping up with the Kardashians is not nearly as hard as keeping up with the goings-on of this family.  Sadly though, you and I will never live to see that become a reality because they do not inhabit the earthly realm; they are scattered between Mount Olympus, the Underworld and the ocean- so you can see how that might pose logistical problems for producers and camera crews. Does that give you a hint? Yes, I am talking about the 12 Olympians of Greek religion and mythology. The abduction, deceit, illegitimate offspring, infidelity, jealousy and seduction that dictates their daily lives has held my fascination for years now and I love trying to keep up with the myths. If you thought the Kardashian’s lives were filled with drama, secrets and scandals, then, let me tell you one of my favourite stories to try and change your mind. Keep in mind that this is but a small sliver of one version of the famous myth. Think of this as a three-part episode of a reality show that never was. Enjoy! 

 
Keeping Up with the Olympians: A Wedding, an Apple and Three Goddesses (part 1)

The episode begins with the marriage of Thetis, a sea nymph and Peleus, a mortal man. Flashback: before being married off to Peleus, Thetis and Zeus were somewhat of an item, but it did not last long; upon hearing that his lover would bear a son who was destined to be greater than his father, Zeus decided to marry Thetis to a mortal man. Coming back to the present: their wedding is a grand affair. The gods and goddesses not only grace the couple with their presence on the occasion, but they also shower them with extravagant presents. However, there is one goddess who is not invited to the festivities; her name is Eris and she is the goddess of strife and discord. She decides to exact her revenge for this by doing what she knew best: causing discord. You might think that she hatched some elaborate scheme, but really, all she does is place a golden apple that was addressed “To the Fairest” on a table at the wedding and the rest is history. The apple soon becomes a point of contention (to say the least) between Hera, the wife of Zeus and the goddess of childbirth and marriage; Athena, the maiden goddess of war and wisdom and Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love. Each goddess thinks of herself as being the fairest and most beautiful of them all and so wants the apple for herself.  They are unable to come to a final verdict regarding the matter and take it to Zeus. However, Zeus knows better than to displease the three powerful goddesses and defers the matter to a mortal named Paris who is known for being a fair judge. He makes them promise to accept the judgement of Paris and they eagerly accept. You've seen Snow White right- so what happens when someone seeks validation from others? Nothing good.  Read on!

Keeping Up with the Olympians: Preparing for the contest (part 2)

After eagerly accepting the conditions of Zeus, the three goddesses rush off to Paris’ abode to settle the matter once and for all. Yet, it is only upon their hasty arrival that they realize that Paris is still a little baby who is not even old enough to walk, let alone select a winner. This means that the goddesses will have to wait till he is older, and what’s 19 to 20 years for three immortals, right? Hera, Athena and Aphrodite decide to make the most of it by preparing themselves for the contest (cue Survivor’s Eye of the Tiger).  Over the next two decades-though, I do not even know how this is possible for these three ethereal beauties- they groom and preen themselves like never before. They also enlist the help of a series of lesser gods, old rivals and Mother Earth herself, to manufacture the world’s finest accessories, clothing and perfumes- all for the golden apple. It's all or nothing for these three! 

Keeping Up with the Olympians: Paris, Paris, Prince of Troy- who is the fairest of them all? (Part 3)  

After years and years of preparing for it, the all-important day finally arrives. Hera, Athena and Aphrodite appear on Mount Ida, where Paris is tending sheep, looking on point! In case you are wondering why on earth a prince is tending sheep on a mountain- well, it’s a long story that must be saved for another day. For now, it’s back to the golden apple. They ask him to hand the apple over to the woman that he thinks is the most beautiful of the three. Yet, if you know a thing or two about the Olympians, you would also know that nothing is ever that simple; the goddesses do not allow Paris to judge them solely on the merit of their beauty but bribe the mortal with majestic gifts. Athena promises him all the military might in the world, while Hera promises him kingly power over the earthly realm. However, it is the promise of possessing Helen, the most beautiful woman in the world, that prompts Paris to name Aphrodite as the fairest of them all, oops! Hera and Athena are forced to accept Paris’ judgement on the basis of the promise they had made all those years ago, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t salty about it. In fact, to say that the pair is salty about the verdict is the understatement of the century. And do you remember smelling disaster from the very beginning and predicting that nothing good will come of it?  Well, Hera and Athena make sure of it. What follows is a very long story that has become the stuff of Homer’s nearly 16,000-line epic, but in a nutshell: Hera and Athena plot and scheme their revenge to the point of bringing about a 10-year war that completely destroys an entire city. 

Did that change your mind? Try Keeping Up with the Olympians, if you dare!

Therushie Botejue

 

 

 

 

 

 


Comments

  1. sevenamusedbloggersMarch 4, 2021 at 3:19 AM

    Oh i really enjoyed reading this and i completely agree that i have never seen any other family with as much drama as the Olympians. I mean, mythology itself is a subject of its own and that says a lot! I came into Greek mythology by reading the ''Percy Jackson and the Olympians'' series when i was a kid. So it's interesting how its author, Rick Riordan spun his own stories that spanned over five series based on Greek myth because it sells owing to its many strands. This selling point which is the drama is something I can interestingly find in reality series as well! It gives the saying ''truth is stranger than fiction'' a layer of authenticity!

    -Nipuni

    ReplyDelete
  2. SashaMarch 26, 2021 at 12:59 AM

    Love this! Greek myths are so interesting and it's really sad that we have such a small number of productions based on them. So much better that KUWTK for sure!
    -Sasha

    ReplyDelete
  3. SanduniApril 3, 2021 at 3:50 AM

    I haven't got the slightest idea about Greek mythology but I have to say this family DOES sound waay more interesting than the Kardashians :3 NO better way to chill than watch somebody else's drama :p I really wish they'd make a TV series out of it though.

    ReplyDelete
  4. sevenamusedbloggersApril 28, 2021 at 12:14 PM

    I love the comparison and no doubt there's clearly a winner and that's obviously Olympians. This reminds me of my early childhood when my father, a big classics fan, used to tell us Greek myths as bed time stories 🤣 we even had a dog named Cerberus back then. The story of Pandora and some magic box, Jason and the Golden fleece, some God swallowing all of his new born babies etc were our usual bed time stories and they confused me to a level, I wasn't much of a classics fan. But now I wish I could read all these but really don't have time and sadly I'm too old for bed time stories.

    ReplyDelete

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